verdict

(~FiCtIoN~)

It was raining ,the monsoon rain and I got stuck in a traffic block….i looked for the traffic signals….variegated memories came surpassing in me….undercurrents of my mind!….am I ignoring someone? Am I happy or is it like am pretending…a mask of fakeness,fake happiness….!!!

I reached the railway station…yeah !as usual the train is late….i sat on the bench, waiting for my dad to arrive…. ….now its time for me to take a decision !!!…and I sat there….for a verdict….a verdict of lifetime!!!though I smile d…I was thinking..n I am miserable n I am hurt….

I looked no where,but my thoughts somewhere….!all unfortunate events…all past came to me….when we r alone, the memories will haunt us….its still raining…!!!

The sound of the roaring train arriving at the other platform…brought me back from the thoughts…I watched the passengers getting down.. with huge luggages n all..i stood up n started walking…looked at the darkness beyond those rails….i cud hear train announcements ….the smell of coffee made me nostalgic…peeped at the restrooms for familiar faces…

Today I cud feel ‘a presence’….is it just a feeling?or is it a clairvoyance?As a desperate attempt …started looking around….my eyes stuck nowhere……but at that figure!!!my senses wud never go wrong…I looked at tat figure again n again…at tat startling moment his name came outta my lips…its all automatic…seeing him after 1 year….am I longing for something?he is still standing there…he lit up a cigaratte…I cant see his face…but I knew… its him…even the slightest feel of him …yeah I cud recognize it….did he see me?he recognized me?felt like he is looking at me…..not near me…yeah a cloudy screen btw us this time…I felt I cudnt move my feet…like am glued to the ground…

He started walking…I watched him…yea its him…MY LOVE…the face of whom I looked n looked n looked…those hands were the one which I held for hours close to me…the hands which held me always close to him…the looks of his eyes which gave me all tat assurance n his smile!!ya… its he he and he…the face tat I cant ever forget…He started climbing the stairs of the flyover…in a frantic effort I ran to the stairs n I waited there for him at the other side of flyover…I watched him walk I watched him climb down the stairs…. for me each step felt like the memories I ditched somewhere,his love tat I left for someother’s happiness, that loving soul and am I still trying to forget this person?I m really gonna leave this person n marry some other?NO!he s the one I loved! I dun wanna make anyone happy…n now I need MY HAPPINESS back…I need MY REASON TO SMILE back….but its me… who left him…who ignored him…I left my love for my family?I hv hurt him…but can I ever smile without him…its 1 year since I left him…he hates me?a drop of tear fell down my cheek…

Now he is near me…I looked at him…but he didn’t look at me..he climbed down n walked past me…like some STRANGER!!…I just called out his name…he JUST stopped but he didn’t turn back…continued walking …called out his name again n again but he walked away and I didn’t get tat strength to run …I felt weak ,stumbled and I am clumsy …now I cud cry…I got the rite verdict…I made a very wrong decision & my love wore tat hood of a STRANGER….rite verdict for IGNORING my love…but y he didn’t stop?y he didn’t turn back?y?y?y?….he hates me? or some other girl took my place?

I just walked in tthrough tat rain aimlessly…..

For the one whom I loved more than me….still i love u!!