:)

i heard this song...liked it...searched for the video and here it is :)so good to hear this...its making me go all sloppy naughty happy n all that ...


FIDELITY.. ((((regina spektor)))
"I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
And suppose
I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall
All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better Better better better
I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting by heart truly
I got lost In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind All this music
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
Breaks my Heart
Breaks my heart......"

verdict

(~FiCtIoN~)

It was raining ,the monsoon rain and I got stuck in a traffic block….i looked for the traffic signals….variegated memories came surpassing in me….undercurrents of my mind!….am I ignoring someone? Am I happy or is it like am pretending…a mask of fakeness,fake happiness….!!!

I reached the railway station…yeah !as usual the train is late….i sat on the bench, waiting for my dad to arrive…. ….now its time for me to take a decision !!!…and I sat there….for a verdict….a verdict of lifetime!!!though I smile d…I was thinking..n I am miserable n I am hurt….

I looked no where,but my thoughts somewhere….!all unfortunate events…all past came to me….when we r alone, the memories will haunt us….its still raining…!!!

The sound of the roaring train arriving at the other platform…brought me back from the thoughts…I watched the passengers getting down.. with huge luggages n all..i stood up n started walking…looked at the darkness beyond those rails….i cud hear train announcements ….the smell of coffee made me nostalgic…peeped at the restrooms for familiar faces…

Today I cud feel ‘a presence’….is it just a feeling?or is it a clairvoyance?As a desperate attempt …started looking around….my eyes stuck nowhere……but at that figure!!!my senses wud never go wrong…I looked at tat figure again n again…at tat startling moment his name came outta my lips…its all automatic…seeing him after 1 year….am I longing for something?he is still standing there…he lit up a cigaratte…I cant see his face…but I knew… its him…even the slightest feel of him …yeah I cud recognize it….did he see me?he recognized me?felt like he is looking at me…..not near me…yeah a cloudy screen btw us this time…I felt I cudnt move my feet…like am glued to the ground…

He started walking…I watched him…yea its him…MY LOVE…the face of whom I looked n looked n looked…those hands were the one which I held for hours close to me…the hands which held me always close to him…the looks of his eyes which gave me all tat assurance n his smile!!ya… its he he and he…the face tat I cant ever forget…He started climbing the stairs of the flyover…in a frantic effort I ran to the stairs n I waited there for him at the other side of flyover…I watched him walk I watched him climb down the stairs…. for me each step felt like the memories I ditched somewhere,his love tat I left for someother’s happiness, that loving soul and am I still trying to forget this person?I m really gonna leave this person n marry some other?NO!he s the one I loved! I dun wanna make anyone happy…n now I need MY HAPPINESS back…I need MY REASON TO SMILE back….but its me… who left him…who ignored him…I left my love for my family?I hv hurt him…but can I ever smile without him…its 1 year since I left him…he hates me?a drop of tear fell down my cheek…

Now he is near me…I looked at him…but he didn’t look at me..he climbed down n walked past me…like some STRANGER!!…I just called out his name…he JUST stopped but he didn’t turn back…continued walking …called out his name again n again but he walked away and I didn’t get tat strength to run …I felt weak ,stumbled and I am clumsy …now I cud cry…I got the rite verdict…I made a very wrong decision & my love wore tat hood of a STRANGER….rite verdict for IGNORING my love…but y he didn’t stop?y he didn’t turn back?y?y?y?….he hates me? or some other girl took my place?

I just walked in tthrough tat rain aimlessly…..

For the one whom I loved more than me….still i love u!!

RAIN

it was a rainy day....i was on my way home from my college... ...i just felt some kinda madness....yeah i wanna drench in this rain....i was walking thru tat road holding an umbrella....wid some kinda special 'rainy emotion' (i dunno wat i m saying)i stood there wid eyes closed ....i felt those cool breeze, caressing me all over n those cool rain drops ....i looked around holding my umbrella aside ....then i thought 'i dun need this umbrella now'...i just folded my umbrella .....and i started walking in tat rain.... i just stood there feeling that rain with every drop falling over me making me shiver making me happy making me so DREAMY... wid my hands wide open n eyes closed i stood there....cooool....sensual...romantic...and i cud feel the rain drops dripping down....i just moved my hands near my face n just rubbed my face .. opened my eyes n i saw the rain..in tat blurred view i saw her..the most beautiful emotion of the nature...enjoyed her beauty ..but as the downpour increased it started pricking me n kinda hurt me...n that hurt made me conscious abt the surroundings and tats when i heard the horns of vehicles passing by n drivers calling me all sorts...'r u mad?move aside' ooopsssss !!! .....i just smiled at them....n again started walking ....got drenched like anything ...walked back home dancing in that rain....yea i enjoyed tat rain...but next day i fell ill...got nice scolding from grandmom..hehe n i gave her a kiss n adviced her tat she shud also try these kinda madness.......i just luv the rain....!!!

to u with love!

In crowded corridors

in deserted libraries

my eyes were looking for someone like u

every place i went

i checked if there was someone like u

and then we met

after that i started realising

that u were never mine

i faced the truth that

someone like u will never have time for

someone like me

i got lost in a crowd

and i was pushed away away from u

still

in every crowd

in every dreamy eyes

in every smile

i tried to find u

never far and never lost

u were there

but away from me

sometimes its our fate

to be away from ur love

to get confused in your love

but i do believe in dreams

and i know

u will come to me

till that day lemme dream

with my dreamy eyes!!!

black beauty

beauty in its words
beauty the other names of
love
compassion
friendship
youth
care
affection
lust
sex
defining the synonyms
when i think its beautiful
u may disagree
coz beauty lies in the eyes of beholder
cant ever redefine the beauty sense
beauty is so feminine
sensual n sharp
for me beauty is my grief
beauty is eyes
beauty is the truth within u
beauty is innocence
beauty is words
the way u touches my heart tats beauty
this darkness is a beauty
the nothingness in me talking
y i am talking about beauty
coz i admire the beauty the way it is!!